A TOOLBOX FOR CALMING AND GROUNDING OURSELVES

I’ve put together a few of my favourite, simple tools for helping us settle our nervous systems when we’re experiencing anxiety - you can see which you are most drawn to, try them out and put them in your toolbox…

Moving your body 

Our nervous systems respond really well to the discharging of energy through movement (this is what animals do in the wild – think of a deer when it hears a potential threat…it pauses to listen, heart rate increases, blood will flow away from digestion into its legs in preparation to flee…it assesses there is no danger so returns to grazing but will twitch it’s ears, haunches etc, these movements discharge that nervous energy which is no longer needed.  For us humans a very effective one is to have a good shake of your arms and legs for around a minute or so, it’s an incredible discharge and reset. Other options include walking, running, yoga, dancing and simply moving your body however feels good intuitively.

The Peter Levine 'hug' 

Tuck your right hand under your left armpit with palm facing towards your heart, left arm wrapped across your body with left palm holding right shoulder.  Breathe in and out slowly, hold this position for a few minutes until you notice your body start to calm.  The positioning of your hands sends a signal to your nervous system that these are the ‘edges’ of you.  The physical 'container' for the big emotions is actually very small (the container being your body).

Mindful noticing 

Great for grounding you when feeling anxious - run through your senses and notice what's around you - name five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste. It helps anchor us come back to the present moment when we feel we're spinning off.

Mindful Meditation

Sitting in a chair, upright but comfortable, initially just notice the natural rhythm of your breath.  Then with intention begin to take slow deep breaths in through your nose, out through you mouth.  Gently guide your attention to a point of focus, it could be the sensation of the air moving in through your nose, or filling your lungs, or the sensation of your body in the chair / feet supported by the ground.  If our attention drifts, simply begin again by redirecting your focus to that same part of your body.

Lean into the anxiety

Part of the 'power' anxiety attacks have over us is fear.  Although surges of anxiety are very unpleasant, you've lived to tell the tale.  No real harm comes to you (you don't go mad, you don't have a heart attack etc.) so it can be hugely empowering when you feel that first flush of an attack to say to it 'I see you, I can wait this out and I know I will come out the other side' (or words to that effect).  See if you can treat it as something tedious that just has to pass through.  Or even directing anger towards it can be helpful (if we're angry we don't feel scared).

Befriend your anxiety 

Similar to the suggestion above but could be done during a bout of anxiety or afterward in a period of calm.  If we reframe anxiety as a benign friend sending us an important message we can start an internal dialogue with it, 'Hi friend, you’ve got my attention, what is it you want me to do?' and then 'listen', don't try to think the response, just try to drop down into your body, lovely deep belly breaths and see what floats up.

Write your stream of consciousness

Write down whatever comes into your head while you're feeling anxious.  It needn't be coherent at all, just thoughts, sensations, colours, tastes, rambling ideas, can be messy and scrawled. Write and write and write. This can be a way of redirecting the experience in the moment, from the feelings being 'trapped' inside of you to being out on the page and this helps moves the feelings through.

4-7-8 breathing 

This is a rhythm of breathing that can really help settle the nervous system - it's also good for helping you fall asleep.  You breathe in through your nose, deep belly breath for the count of 4, hold the breath for a count of 7 and then a slow release through your mouth for 8 - you can make a sighing sound on the out breath.

Alternate nostril breathing 

This is a yogic form of breathing, so great for calming the nervous system - the lovely Adriene from ‘Yoga with Adriene’ has a video for this: Yoga With Adriene

Avoid / cut down on caffeine 

I know for some people this feels like a huge ask but caffeine is a common trigger for anxiety for lots of people.

Getting out into nature 

Hug some old trees!  Notice colours, sounds, textures, the details of nature.  Research shows being in nature is great for settling the nervous system.

Asking for help / time out / time apart

Sometimes we need to stop, step away from the situation to recalibrate / recharge.  On a flight we’re told in the event of an emergency we should put on our own oxygen masks before we help others. Taking some time to yourself to practice any of these tools is a great way to reset. This needn’t look like a whole day at a spa (!) this could be telling your children you are all going to do a 5 minute reset and do some deep breathing together or mindful noticing, or if age-appropriate time out in separate rooms.

Inspirational figure 

Choose someone who embodies you as your highest self and ask yourself 'what would X do?' when you need to rise above the fray.  This can help us step outside of ourselves and take an inspirational observer perspective. Calling the inspirational figure to mind, creates a somatic (body) experience almost as if we are operating at that level of confidence, integrity etc.

This is just a quick run through of some of my favourite tools to help settle the nervous system, but do seek advice from your GP or a qualified counsellor if you’re struggling, sometimes we just need a bit of additional support.

If you feel I can be of help please don’t hesitate to get in touch: